Confessions and Declarations
by Mrs. Herondale-Jackson-Potter
Summary: Will Herondale has been hopelessly in love with Tessa Gray since she has arrived at the institute with her fiery, independent spirit, her curiosity, and her passionate love for words and books. It is almost too much for him to bear, as he has no one to seek solace in. But what happens when they have a chance meeting in the institute's old library late at night? Mystery and Romance!
1. Chapter 1

The room is dark, except for the soft flickering of the firelight that illuminates Will's face and the books behind him. He lets out a sigh, and closes his eyes for a moment, cradling the warm cup of peppermint tea in his hands as he leans back in the large, black, moderately comfortable armchair. He listens to the slow crackling of the fire as he tries to relax. He had come to the library hoping to find some peace, hoping to be alone with his thoughts for a while. Alas, he had gotten exactly that, but instead of finding peace of mind, he has only found more festering room for his pain. _So_ _this is why I try to keep myself busy all the time. _He chuckles, thinking how absurdly unbearable everything has become. It is proving difficult to even summon the strength to force himself out of bed every morning, knowing that he will have to suffer another day watching the love of his life slip away from him, into the heart of his parabati. Jem had not said anything, or acted any differently, but he could tell by the way Jem looked at her. "No. I cannot think like this." He whispers to himself. "There is still a chance that Tessa might love me." _But I've already destroyed that small chance, at least five times over. _Will shakes his head_, _trying to empty it of the sorrow that is eating him from the inside out, even if just for a moment.

A loud creak echoes through the library, jerking Will from his thoughts just in time to see Tessa enter, and he smiles, seeing the book in her hand and recalling her relentless reading habit. He squints to see the title. "A Tale of Two Cities". Will shakes his head with a mixture of amusement and astonishment as Tessa reaches up to put it on a shelf. She is too small and can't reach high enough, and he watches, a grin teasing his lips, as she goes to fetch a ladder. She obviously assumes that she is alone. After all, it would be atrocious for someone to be up at this hour. She is humming a familiar tune that Will can't quite make out. Tessa climbs the ladder, and while her back is turned, he stands and quietly picks his way over to stand behind her.

"Done with that one already? I believe that's the third time this week!" Tessa squeals and attempts to twirl around with not much success, and the ladder, the book, and Tessa topple to the ground with a loud crash. Will manages to half catch her, but they crumple to the floor in an awkward position, amongst a small pile of fallen books.

"Will! You really mustn't sneak up on people like that!" she scolds. "You frightened me half to death. And oh, _look_ what you've done. Just about knocked half the books onto the floor." Tessa rises, brushing off her dress, and stoops to pick up some books they have knocked down. Will rises to join her, chuckling a bit.

"Sorry about that, but really, haven't you already read that twice this week?" Tessa raises her eyebrows, throwing him an exasperated look before responding.

"Yes, I have. Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, no. It's just that one would think you would get tired of the same story after reading it as many times as you have." He grins at her as he reaches up to place an old, green volume back in its place.

"Well, it is hard to become tired of something, when it has become one of your only friends in this harsh new world I have been thrown into." Will begins to object, but Tessa cuts him off, holding up her hand.

"Yes, I know. I have Charlotte, Jessamine, Jem, and Henry. I _suppose_ I could count you. It really depends on how infuriating you have been that day. But I and everyone else know that I don't belong here, no matter how much they insist otherwise. You would have to be an idiot not to see it…" She sighs, pausing for a moment, and continues; a slight tone of sadness barely audible in her voice. "I have never been like any of you, and it seems that there is an invisible barrier that separates you all from me. We are just different. Yes, I know that Charlotte cares for me, and possibly Jem; and I truly appreciate that. However, it just doesn't make up for the lack of true friends. We all know that I will have to leave eventually, I can't stay here forever." She bows her head and turns away, embarrassed at her outburst.

There is a strange silence between them for a moment, and Will gazes at her, taking in her words. He takes a deep breath as he tries to think of something to say. He has never been good at comforting people. Then again, he's always tried to shy away from that sort of thing. It is all he can do to hold in his thoughts, to resist telling her that he might die if she leaves.

"Tessa… You know that Charlotte loves you. No one wants you to leave. It's just… We don't know what you are, so the Clave is investigating your case to see if you can stay… Our best guess, with your ability is that you're a warlock. But you know, even Jessamine is growing fond of you." Tessa laughs half-heartedly.

"Yes, well…" She shakes her head and sighs, stooping to pick up more books. "What are you doing in here at this hour, anyway? It's nearly twelve." Will gives her a sideways glance.

"Oh, you know the usual. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to come in here and think about the world, the meaning of life, and the greater good." Tessa lets out a disbelieving giggle.

"Well, Mr. Herondale. I didn't realize that you were generally one to have such profound thoughts. Especially ones that entertain such prompts as the greater good. I must say that this takes me greatly by surprise!" Will chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

"I surprise _myself_ just as much sometimes. It's ghastly, having thoughts on matters such as the good of people other than myself, but they just come flouncing into my mind whenever they please, always without knocking. It's quite annoying, really." He can see that Tessa is trying to suppress a grin, and his heart flutters.

"May I ask the same of you, Miss Gray? Do you have some reason for wandering around at this hour by yourself, other than the poor excuse that you _must _return your books at twelve at night?" She smiles, and walks towards the fire, all the books safely back where they belong.

"I couldn't sleep either. My room feels excessively hot, and I decided that I needed to cool off a bit."

"Should I call Sophie? Have her bring in some Ice or something?" Tessa seats herself in an armchair across from his, and he can't help noticing how straight she sits, how perfect her figure is as the firelight reflects around the room, making her skin glow.

"I thank you for your concern, Will, but I think I shall be alright in a few minutes. I don't want to wake up Sophie just because I am feeling over heated. I am not a baby."

They sit in silence for a few moments, and Will returns to coddling his tea, glancing up at her every now and again, fascinated by how the firelight on her hair. _By the angel, I don't think she realizes how beautiful she is… _She is looking at him, the soft curve of her lips moving with her words.

"Will, why on earth are you staring at me like that? Is something wrong?" Will snaps out of his gaze, and quickly looks towards the fireplace. His heart feels like it may burst at any moment, and he can hardly bear being this close to her.

"No, nothing. I'm fine, you're fine. In fact, we're all fine, as far as I know." He silently curses his hypocrisy as he takes a sip of tea. Tessa folds her arms, resting them on her lap, and she rolls her eyes.

"You really are an interesting character. One moment you are as charming as can be, then the next you are reclusive, secretive; trusting no one. I just don't understand it all… I wish I did."

Will looks down at his distorted, twisted reflection on the side of the blue and white china cup, and thinks how grateful he is to not look like that, with small eyes, a large, bulbous nose, and a pointy, elongated chin. _Although, that is probably how I'd look, if my inner self was portrayed through looks instead of actions. _ He sets down his cup on the lamp table, having grown tired of the drink. He rests his forehead on his fist, running his other hand through his hair, and he sighs, trying to hold in the words he so desperately wants to spill out to her.

"Will, are you alright? If you're sick I can call for Charlotte if I have to…" He holds up his hand and tilts his head up to look at her, meeting her eyes.

"Tessa… You said that you wished you could understand it all… Do you really want to? Do you truly want to understand me?" Tessa stares at him, surprise and confusion written across her face. Will takes a deep breath and gulps, not believing what he is about to do as he waits for her answer.

"Will… What-"

"Just tell me, yes or no."

"Well… Yes, I-I suppose…" Will leans back in his chair letting out breath he hadn't realized he was holding, and looks down at the floor, hating himself more for even offering her an explanation. _I am such an idiot… This might kill her… Why did I even suggest this?_

"Alright… I suppose I shall have to start from the beginning then… But you must swear that you will not speak of this to _anyone._" Tessa shifts in her seat, and reluctantly nods her head.

"Yes, alright. I swear." Will pauses, trying to think how to begin.

"Alright…When I was younger, five or six years ago, before I came to the institute I had two sisters, Ella and Cecily. I loved them both dearly, and Ella, my older sister… She was very protective of me. One day, being my curious self, I went exploring in our basement, and found a box. I wanted to know what it was, so I opened it. A large demon flew out and attacked me, and Ella came rushing in to defend me, using my father's old seraph blade she had found…. She was a good fighter, but not good enough, and a spike from the demon's tail found her leg and stuck. Ella managed to fight it off, but just before it left, it... It cast a curse on me. It told me that anyone who loved me would die. He pointed at Ella and said that the curse would begin with her." Will pauses, almost not being able to bear the memory, and rubs his hands over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Ella comforted me, telling me everything was going to be alright… The next morning I woke to the sounds of my mother screaming, and I ran to Ella's room. My parents tried to block the door, but I saw what I needed to see. Ella, lying on her bed, dead and swollen up to twice her size, purple and green. I was terrified, and, being twelve years old, with a fresh curse on me and not knowing what else to do, I ran away not wanting anyone else to die. I came here, to the institute, where Charlotte took me in. I've been here ever since, every waking day a reminder of what happened to Ella."

Will finishes, and looks up at Tessa, her lips parting as she gazes at him in shock, her face filled with sadness and sympathy. _What have I done? _Will quickly looks away and inhales sharply, not wanting to meet her eyes.

"Will… I… I never-" He rises suddenly and paces over to a reading table, the memory flashing in his mind, remembering his parents coming to find him, trying to persuade him to come home with them back to Wales.

"I know. But don't feel sorry Tessa, please. If anything, you should be getting as far away from me as possible." _I can't lose you too. _He hears Tessa stand and walk to his side, and tries to ignore the rapid rhythm of his heart.

"Will, I know that I said that that I don't belong here, that there is a curtain separating me from everyone else, but no; I can't leave right now. Not with Mortmain still running about goodness knows where. You know I can't. And besides, Charlotte and Henry- and Jem; they all love you, and none of them are dead, are they?" Will clenches his fists, pressing his knuckles into the hard mahogany as he ducks his head.

"Yes, they are alive. Alive and living proof that they all hate me." His voice cracks, not wanting to hear or believe his own words. "Can you not see it Tessa? This, the curse… It's the reason I push everyone away, the reason I have to be so cruel to the people I love. The fact that they are all still alive proves that my method is working quite well!" They are silent for a moment, and Tessa reaches out, touching his arm lightly. Will flinches away from her soft fingers.

"No Will. I know they love you, all of them. By the angel, I even suspect that Jessamine is quite fond of you, even if she doesn't show it." Will chuckles half-heartedly.

"Tess, you're starting to speak like a Shadowhunter." Tessa dismisses this comment, and turns away to the fireplace, wrapping her arms around herself. She mumbles something that he can't quite make out, and turns his head towards her.

"Sorry, can you repeat that?"

"No, It… It was nothing. Just talking to myself, that's all."

"Oh, and what was it that you had to say to yourself? Something about me being utterly deplorable and ungrateful for treating people the way I do? " Tessa shakes her head, and says nothing.

"Oh Tessa, It can't have been so horrible that you can't tell me. Chances are I've heard it already from someone else. I've heard it all; really, the only thing I haven't been told yet is "Congratulations, we have discovered that you are the rightful heir to the throne!" Or perhaps a devout declaration of love for me."

"Yes."

"What? Yes, I'm now an heir to the throne, or yes, it's too horrible for me to hear? I highly doubt both…"

"Yes Will... I… I love you… I love you so much it hurts." Will's head whips up and he spins around to face her disbelievingly, not sure if he has started to drift off, or if he misheard her.

"Pardon... You , you what?" Tessa's silhouette is outlined by the light of the fire, making the ends of her hair glow as she looks at him, her voice lowering to a whisper.

"Will, I love you more than anyone else; I don't want to leave the institute. I can't… I wouldn't be able to leave pretending that I had never known you, had never loved you. " As the words leave her mouth, Will feels his heart soar with joy, and his stomach plunge in horror. He leans against the table to steady himself, crossing his arms. _This has to be some mistake. She is confused, that's all. _

"I know I will have to leave eventually; that the Clave doesn't want me here, but when you first walked into my room at the Dark Sister's place, I thought you were an angel come to rescue me. The longer I am with you, the harder it will be for me to leave when the time comes… Oh Will; please don't look at me that way!"

"Tess… Don't say that. Please, I can't…" Tessa moves to stand in front of him, brushing her hand against his cheek like a warm summer breeze, and he sharply sucks in his breath. His eyelids flutter closed at her touch as her fingers rest lightly at his jawline.

"Will, I know it is hard to believe, but I do love you. Yes, those words on the rooftop, and in the attic… They did hurt, but I forgive you. I understand now that you were trying to protect me. It almost worked too. But here I am loving you, alive and well." Will's heart flutters at these words, and his eyes widen as he realizes that they ring true. Here she is, the love of his life giving a speech on how much she loves him, and she isn't showing any signs of immediate death. Rather, she is pulsing with life. _No, I can't take any risks… Yet, if she really has loved me all this time as she says, why isn't she dead? _

Will takes her hand and presses it against his cheek lightly, savoring her warmth as he closes his eyes and his breathing grows ragged and unsteady.

"Tessa… I can't let you risk your life to love me. I-I can't let you risk your good, bright future just because you love some hopeless and foolish boy with a curse. Please, I beg of you to stay away from me; If not for your own sake, then for mine. You can go out and find some other charming, wealthy man who has everything to give to you, including love, and a good life." He hears Tessa sigh, and he opens his eyes, to see her own stormy gray ones exploring his face.

"Will, you really are dimwitted, aren't you? Can't you see? I don't care about your curse; I don't care about dying… Well alright, I might care a little… But that's not the point. I never want to leave you without knowing that you love me back… Is that too much for me to ask?" Will doesn't reply immediately. Instead, he lets go of her hand, and walks over to stand in front of the fire. _My god, she really won't give up, will she? _He shakes his head as he feels himself giving in.

"Tessa, I… No, it's not. I _do _love you, with all of my heart. The reason I was so horrible to you was because I wanted, needed you to hate me so I would know that you were safe. I hated myself, and still do, for treating you the way I have, and it is torture to have to treat the ones I love with such… such vileness. But I do love you, Tess… I can't fully express the amount of love I have for you…" Will turns, to see Tessa standing where he left her, with a hand covering her mouth, concealing a smile.

"I am sorry… I have not had much practice with declarations of love… I am not very good with these sorts of words, so if I have let your book character expectations down-"

"No, Will. It was perfect. And frankly, my book character expectations are not very high… They are all hopeless at this sort of thing." Tessa makes to move towards him, but he reaches her first, taking her soft slim hands in his rough, battled scarred ones. He turns them over and with his thumb, traces patterns on her wrist with a gentleness that is foreign to him.

"Tessa… Do you really want this? Do you really want to be with me, only knowing that you could die at any moment? Because if you did die… I would not be able to live with the burden, knowing that it was my fault." Tessa smiles softly at him, sending his mind reeling.

"Yes, I do want this, and if I die, of course it will not be your fault. It will have been fully mine, having been the one who chose to take the risk. I ask of you not to burden yourself even more with the worry." Will grins, and pulls her into an embrace, all of his thoughts becoming vague and fuzzy as he nuzzles his face in her hair. They stand like this for a few minutes, just listening to each other's breathing.

"Will…" Tessa whispers, "If the curse hurts everyone who loves you… Why do you let Jem in, instead of pushing him away like everyone else?" Will's heart sinks, sure that she knows the answer already, but knowing that she would ask about it anyway. _If this doesn't make her loathe me, then nothing will._

"Tessa… I know this will make me sound despicable… But when Jem first came to the institute, I had been here for about a year, and I was alone, training by myself every day without a friend, or anyone. When Charlotte first introduced us, I insulted him…" Will smiles weakly, recalling the day he met his parabati. "He responded only by laughing and insulting me back. I admired him, and agreed to let Jem train with me, and when I found out that he was going to die anyway…" He pauses, not needing to finish the sentence, and waits for Tessa to draw away in disgust. But to his surprise, she doesn't move, or make any indication of revulsion. Instead she just sighs and places her hand over his heart, lightly clutching the rough material of his white shirt.

"You decided that maybe you could be loved by someone after all…Will… That doesn't make you a horrible person at all. It is natural to want to be loved; it is a necessity of life. No one, not even you, can live completely without it... You and Jem were meant to be parabati, you help him live, and he helps you live. He needed someone to love, as did you, and he took the risk same as you did, knowing that his time was limited. There is nothing wrong with that." Will's heart skips a beat, and he lifts her face ever so slightly with his fingers, seeing her beautiful gray eyes widening as they grow darker.

"Tess, how did I ever think I could live without you?" Before she can respond, he leans down and kisses her fully on the mouth, feeling her soft warm lips under his, and fireworks explode behind his eyes. He has kissed her before, but when they were both drugged or when he was delusional. This kiss is completely different, both of them fully conscious and aware, meaning every small gesture. He feels Tessa snaking her arms around his neck, and he groans into her mouth, his fingers tangling in her hair or skimming over her back as desire courses through his veins. Kissing her is like taking a breath of fresh air after being kept shut in a musty cell, and he savors the feeling of her arms around him, her delicate frame pressed against him.

"Will…" She whispers into his mouth between kisses. "Will, I love you so much…" He pulls her closer to him pressing the small of her back with his hand, and caresses her face with his lips, murmuring her name against her skin. Feeling her fingers exploring the plains of his back sends pleasant shocks down his spine, and he grins.

"Tessa." He whispers gently as he kisses her forehead. "You have no idea how much I have wanted this, ever since you came into my life. It was agony to even look at you… And now… Now all I can feel is pure joy." Tessa takes his hand and leads him to a burgundy, black and gold embroidered sofa, where they settle themselves, her head resting on his shoulder. He puts his arm around her, stroking her shoulder with his thumb.

"Tess, that's a nice dress you're wearing. It suits you, red and gold." Tessa laughs as she glances down at her attire.

"Why thank you Will. Unfortunately it is not mine; I owe my thanks to Jessamine for lending it to me today." Will smiles, not very surprised.

He leans over and picks a book off the floor, looking at the cover: "Pride and Prejudice".

"Do you like this one?" She nods her head.

"Yes, it is one of my favorites. I love Elizabeth's flaming stubbornness, and yet how she cannot see that Darcy loves her. And Mrs. Bennett's ignorance, and daftness, and Mr. Bennett's wisdom. And above all, Mr. Darcy's fierce passion for Elizabeth, and his persistence, and his redemption; he is a prime example of how much love can change one person so much…" Will opens his mouth, but, for once, cannot find any words. Instead, he just leans in and kisses her softly once, then embraces her as if his life depends on it. In a way it does. After what feels like an eternity, Tessa draws away and rests her head on his chest, her arm twined around his as she listens to his steady heartbeat.

They sit like this in silence, just enjoying each other's presence, and after a while he hears Tessa's breathing slow, signifying that she has fallen asleep. He looks down at her, and takes in her face, a quintessence of peace. No worry or anxiety visible, only happiness and perfection. He gently brushes a strand of hair out of Tessa's face and lets his fingers skim across her thick eyelashes, the soft firelight sending patches of light dancing across her face illuminating her pale, creamy skin.

Will ponders waking Tess and take her to her room, but he doesn't want to move, worried that he will lose all of this; that he will wake up to find that it was all a dream. He glances at the old wooden grandfather clock that decorates the left wall, which reads two o-clock, and realizes how long they have been there.

"Tess…" He whispers, "Tess, wake up." She cracks her eyes open sleepily, yawning.

"Mmm?"

"I'm going to take you back to your room, so you can get some proper sleep, alright? I will help you walk, if you like." Tessa stares at him dazedly, looking slightly confused.

"Walk? But…" She yawns again, covering her mouth, then continues, her voice slurred. "Why can't we take the carriage? It is several blocks to the theater Mr. Darcy, and we might be late if we walk…" _Mr. Darcy? Theater? _It is Wills turn to be confused for a moment before he realizes that she is still asleep and dreaming, and he suppresses a chuckle.

"You are right, Miss. Gray, and besides, I wouldn't want you to get your lovely dress dirty. We shall take the carriage." Tessa smiles blearily at him and holds out her hand, and Will takes it, shaking his head. He stands, scooping her small frame into his arms, and hoists her up slowly, making sure he doesn't disturb her. He kisses Tessa's forehead as he carries her across the room, pushing one of the heavy oak doors open with his back and stepping into the hallway. Her head lolls against his shoulder as he walks down the corridor musty red, and he realizes that she smells distinctly of lilac- his favorite scent. He remembers that his mother used to smell like lilac, and a powerful wave of nostalgia rushes over him for a moment.

Will is so caught up in his thoughts that when he turns the corner, he nearly runs into bed- disheveled Jem, who blinks in surprise.

"Blimey Will! You nearly gave me a heart attack-" He stops abruptly, taking in the sight of Tessa bundled in Wills arms, and his eyes fill with panic.

"By the angel, is Tessa alright? Is she hurt? What happened?" Will shakes his head.

"Jem, she is fine. Nothing is wrong, I'm quite sure." Jem gives him a curious look.

"Well then why on earth are you carrying her around in the middle of the night? And why do you look so happy?" Will panics for a moment, rushing for how to respond. He certainly can't declare right then and there that they have just been making declarations of love to each other. It's not the right time.

"I-I found her asleep in the library, so I decided to take her back to her room. She was just talking in her sleep, and it made me laugh, is all."

"Well, alright. Just don't drop her. I'm not sure it would end very well, as her training has improved greatly." Jem smiles at him, throwing a glance at Tessa's sleeping face, and continues in the direction of the kitchen.

After a few turns they reach Tessa's room, and Will pushes through the open door, which creaks sharply. He crosses the room and lays Tessa gently on her large bed, and she stirs, moaning into a pillow. He smiles, watching her chest rise and fall slowly. _I wish I could know that kind of peace, if even for a moment. _Will gazes at her one more time, and leaves the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.


	2. Possible Continuation

**Hey everyone! I am really sorry that this isn't a new chapter, but I need everyone's opinions. Here's the deal. I was originally intending for this story to be a one-shot, but I have had a really cool idea, and I want to continue it. Do you guys think I should keep going, or just leave it as it is? I have a little snippet for you all, so you can kind of get the feel of what it would be like. So if you could let me know what you think I should do, I would be very grateful! :)**

Snippet:

Will pulls the parchment in front of him to examine it, and he freezes, his blood running cold.

"Will… Will, are you alright? Is something wrong?" Tessa plucks the parchment off the table to look at it as he nods his head slowly. "Are you quite sure? You look a bit… Pale."

Will rakes his hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. "Yes, I'm fine. Just…" Startled? Surprised? He suddenly realizes that he doesn't know what he is feeling. All he knows is that the symbol on the paper is connected to a very faint memory.


	3. Chapter 2 - The Symbol

**Hey guys! I'm really really sorry to have taken sooo long to update, but I was debating on weather or not to continue the story. I have decided to play around with a little bit of mystery, and I am liking where I am taking the story. It's just been hard to work on everything because I have my mid-terms and ACT tests, so I've been really busy! Anyway, I hope you all like this chapter! Also, I apologize before hand if there are any grammar errors that I missed! **

* * *

Will turns over in his bed and groans, burying his face in the pillow he is clutching. Golden rays of light pour in through the window, signaling that it is time for him to get up. He doesn't want to move, except for the sharp rapping on his door. There are muffled voices on the other side, but will can't tell what they are saying.

"Master Will, I _do_ say it's time to get up. Charlotte summoned you to breakfast half an hour ago, and they are all still waiting patiently for you. We are expecting visitors today, and she wants to see you before they arrive." Will groans again, not wanting to have to start another dull training day.

"Mr. Herondale, I hear you in there. Now if you don't get up this instant I might have to go in there and get you up myself." Will's eyes fly open, and he bolts up, not wanting Sophie to see the dreadful state of his floor, and a dizzy spell washes over him for a moment as the blood rushes to his head.

"Yes Sophie… I…" He stifles a large yawn. "I'm up… Send Charlotte my apologies and tell her I'm coming, will you?" He hears Sophie huff and storm off down the hall, and he feels a slight twinge of guilt. He had always been moderately fond of Sophie. He heaves his legs over the side of his bed, and realizes that he is fully dressed. He is confused for a moment, before all the memories from last night come rushing in, making his heart leap in his chest, and he shakes his head. _That can't have been real. I was dreaming; it was too good to be true. _

He stands, steadying himself as he regains his balance, and he shuffles over to the vanity table mirror- Why there is a vanity table in his room, he will never know, but he has never been bothered to remove it, as the mirror has come quite in handy. He gazes at his reflection for a moment; His eyes are a still a little puffy with sleep, and there are slight shadows under them as if someone took some charcoal and smudged it there with their finger. His jet black ruffled hair is growing a little long, and Charlotte has been nagging him to get it trimmed at least, but he detests haircuts. They are only for gentlemen, and he doesn't consider himself a gentleman, really. His vivid blue eyes stand out, striking against his pale skin and jet black hair.

He knows that he is extremely attractive, and he hates it; it just makes it harder for people to hate him, and thus, harder to protect them. He rakes his hand through his hair, sighing, and goes to the tap in his bathroom, filling the sink. He lets the water run for a few seconds, and then cups his hand to scoop some up, splashing it over his face. His thoughts jolt to sharpness as the icy cold water stings his face, waking him up, and he gasps, reaching for a hand towel. He dries his face roughly, and goes back into the room, wanting to change into some fresher clothes for when he sees Tessa at breakfast.

* * *

A few minutes later, he steps into the corridor, feeling fresh and new, wearing a black waist coat with a white shirt, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He actually made an effort to do himself up a little today, savoring his relatively good mood. Hoping that Tessa remembers the night before, he strides down the hall towards the dining room. His mind is buzzing with thoughts of both optimism and doubt at the same time, making him feel a bit queasy. _What if she really did mean what she said last night? Does she even remember? Did I just dream it all up? Maybe… Just maybe there is really a chance... But what if she has changed her mind; regrets what she told me… _His stomach is becoming more and more acrobatic with each step he takes, both anticipating and dreading seeing her.

He soon finds himself at the heavy oak doors after many twist and turns, and he pauses before going in, taking a deep breath. He pushes the door open, and the smell of sausages reaches his nose before anything else. He idly lumbers across the room, not saying anything. Everyone else is clearly wrapped up in the middle of a heated conversation, as Jem is waiving his fork pointedly in Henry's direction, clearly trying to make an argument. Henry is obviously not listening, as he is fiddling with a peculiar gadget that is making strange whirring noises, and Charlotte is speaking to Tessa hurriedly. Tessa looks up and spots Will before anyone else and she locks eyes with him for a moment, reassuring him with a smile. _Yes, she remembers. _Will reaches the table and casually takes the seat next to her, trying not to disturb their conversation and reaches to take her hand for a moment under the table cloth as he tunes into Jem's conversation.

"-And I really don't see how someone would be able to stage something that elaborate in the amount of time they had. It would've had to have taken hours to set up, let alone the time it would have taken to plan the monstrosity. Honestly, who would want to put that much time and effort into one seemingly pointless murder of a young girl-" At this point Jem seems to realize now that Will has joined them, and he breaks into a grin.

"Ah, here you are at last, William! I was beginning to think you had run off and passed out somewhere in the streets again. I was not looking forward to going out looking for you." Will chuckles, knowing that his parabati really would have gone, and he replies in mock irritation, throwing up one of his hands.

"Am I suddenly not allowed to sleep in a bit without everyone assuming I'm drunk or missing?" Jem shakes his head with a grin.

"Well, sometimes it's both. Quite often in fact, and I do not by any means intend to offend, but you do have your days; or rather, nights..." Jem looks at him with a crooked grin as Tessa snorts lightly, suppressing a laugh.

"Not true! Well, not fully true anyway. I've been getting better. Now it's only about twice a month… With a few exceptions." Jem laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

"Yes, yes, this is all good; but we have a serious matter on our hands." Charlotte chides impatiently, "Jem, would you mind explaining to Will what the present situation is?" There is an air of grimness about her face this morning, and Will senses there is something wrong.

"Yes Charlotte." Jem sighs heavily, putting down his fork and leaning forward to rest his chin on his clasped hands.

"Will, do you remember that time that we raided that brothel down in White Castle?"

"Hmm… Which one? I remember taking down lots of brothels."

"The one that was doubling as a demonic trade post." Jem mutters; a touch of annoyance audible in his voice. Will leans back in his chair quickly, releasing Tessa's hand and stroking his chin.

"Ah yes, that one! I remember it quite clearly. That bastard werewolf ripped my nice new coat. I still haven't forgiven him for that; I always find myself in need of it at the oddest times, going to find it only to remember that it's ruined." He pauses for a moment, mourning the loss of his coat, before a horrid thought drifts into his mind, and he groans.

"Don't tell me that they've re-opened! I thought we made it clear enough that next time we saw any of them, we would have no mercy. Was I not clear enough?" Jem shakes his head, a smile teasing his lips.

"Don't worry Will, they won't be poking around here anymore. No, they have certainly learned their lesson. But a little girl was kidnapped and murdered last night, and when we sent someone to investigate, we found the same symbol etched into the side of the building as the one that we found at the brothel." He pauses as Charlotte cuts in, shoving some parchment towards him. The edges are blackened as if someone had rescued it from a fire, and the paper is slightly yellowed with age.

"We think that they are somehow… connected. The little girl was not just any little girl. She was the daughter of one of the most distinguished shadowhunter families in Europe. This cannot be a coincidence." Will pulls the parchment in front of him to examine it, and freezes, his blood running cold.

"Will… Will, are you alright? Is something wrong?" Tessa plucks the parchment off the table to look at it as he nods his head slowly. "Are you quite sure? You look a bit… Well, pale." Will rakes a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. The feeling is gone, just as quickly as it had come, and it left him feeling a bit strange.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just…" _Startled? Surprised? _He suddenly realizes that he doesn't know what he is feeling. All he knows is that the symbol on the paper is connected to a memory so faint it is almost just a feeling; one that hasn't surfaced for years.

Will eyes the symbol that is party covered by Tessa's thumb; the dark ink seeming to dance across the surface in intricate swirls, strokes and patterns, forming a sort of circle in the center of the paper. It is beautiful, but he senses that it symbolizes something dangerous. He digs into his thoughts trying to recover the rest of that memory, but at that moment he is pulled from his thoughts suddenly as something scorches his hand, searing his skin with boiling heat.

"GAHH!" He yells, jerking his hand up and clutching it tightly as he jolts from his chair, upsetting his plate of sausages that Charlotte had placed before him. He looks around wildly, and realizes that Jem had accidently missed his cup when pouring himself some tea.

"By the Angel, Jem! Pay attention will you? I generally prefer having full use of the nerves in my hand!" He snaps harshly.

"Sorry, sorry Will! I'll just go and fetch some ice…" Jem jumps up and, throws him an apologetic look as he rushes out. Charlotte hurries over and starts dabbing at the steaming pool of liquid that is starting to trickle over the edge of the table.

"Oh dear, what a mess. I'll call in Sophie to have the table cloth changed before the visitors arrive. They are bound to be here soon, and I can't have the table looking such a mess when they arrive." Will groans with exasperation.

"But Charlotte! What about my hand?" He cries, cradling his burnt fist against his chest. "It might have burned out all the nerves! What if I'll never be able to use it again? They might have to chop it! I don't want my hand chopped. Charlotte, I can't feel my fingers. I can't feel them, I think they're dying! Charlotte MY HAND IS DYING HELP M-"

"Oh, for goodness SAKE Will, do stop making such a fuss. Your hands are fine! It is only a minor burn. The most it will do is hurt for a few hours; it won't kill you. Now if you would please go upstairs and change you shirt, I'll send Jem up with the ice in a minute." Will looks down and sees that his previously clean shirt is now indeed coated in little brown specks of tea, and he grumbles something about the one time that he decides to dress nicely for his own pleasure.

Charlotte smiles at him, with an undertone of sternness, wiping her hands on another clean napkin before curtly patting him on the shoulder. "Tessa, would you mind making sure that he actually makes it to the right room? There isn't enough time for any training today. Or at least, not right now."

Tessa nods, standing from her chair after finishing the last of her eggs. "Well, shall we then?" Will smiles, glad to have some time alone with her to talk about the events of last night.

"We shall." They leave Charlotte fussing over the sausages that Will had upturned, and stroll i slowly down the quiet hallway.

"Will… Did you really mean everything you said last night? About… Well, about loving me? You weren't on some alcoholic beverage or anything, were you?" She asks timidly. Will laughs, and shakes his head.

"Tess, I meant every word of it…" He pauses, trying to think of what to say to her. "I had thought that perhaps I was dreaming; that it was all in my sub-conscious or something… But it was; is real. As real as my burned hand here." He realizes that that was a terrible simile as soon as the words leave his mouth, but to his relief Tessa only laughs. He stops walking for a moment and takes her hand in his own rough one. Tessa looks at him and smiles. Her face is lit up, but her eyes are not, and Will knows something is troubling her, his heart sinking.

"Tessa, is something wrong? Do you truly want this? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to be with me, if you have changed you mind." She shakes her head, chewing on her bottom lip.

"No, no. It's nothing at all like that. Of course I want to be with you. I want to be with you desperately. It's just…" She pauses, not meeting his eyes. _Of course. Of course there would be a catch. There is always a catch. I've been a fool not to realize that this was too perfect. _

"Just… what?" He asks, not wanting to hear the answer. He finally manages to meet her eyes, and they are filled with worry, startling him.

"Will… I am scared. I am scared for you and Jem, Henry, Charlotte… Well… Everyone. You saw what happened to Nate… His mind poisoned with vile promises and pride and vain… That was because of _me_. Mortmain _used_ him to get to me, because he knew I loved him. I'm worried that he will do the same with you all if he finds out… I couldn't bear it if any of you were hurt in my defense." Will reaches to brush a strand of hair out of her face, and rests his hand on her cheek.

"Tess, we are all willing to take the risk. We won't let that bastard Mortmain touch a hair on you head without fighting against him. We are all prepared, and know the risks. It's just as you said last night; Jem and I became parabati, each knowing there was a risk. This is the same. We all want to defend you, and we each are putting our all into it willingly." Tessa lets out a sighs and leans in, wrapping her arms around his torso in a tight embrace.

"Thank you... I just… I can't help but worry…" Tessa takes a shuddering breath, burying her face into his neck, and he feeling her warm breath on his skin.

Will stokes her hair for a few moments, and then pulls away slowly.

"We should save this for later… I need to change my shirt still." He smirks and they continue their walk up the musty corridor, more slowly now.

* * *

Even as will changes into a clean shirt a few minutes later, along with thinking about Tessa, he can't get that nagging memory out of his head. There is something about that symbol that seems vaguely familiar, but he can't quite touch upon it. As he emerges from his bathroom, Jem charges into the room, his silver hair flying in front of his eyes. He notices that he looks a bit shaken up.

"Will, Tessa… Come quickly. There is something… A- A warning or a threat or something. We're not quite clear but we need you down stairs in the library now, you'd better come see it." Jem turns to leave, but after he throws an ice pack at Will.

"Here's for your hand by the way."

* * *

**Ok, I know there wasn't as much Wessa in this chapter! (Sorry!) But I promise that I will get some more in for the next one! I was mostly focusing on getting the plot moving. Oh, off of the topic, I got asked to my school Prom today! I just don't know what to do because one of my best friends asked me, and I don't want to really take it farther than best friends... I would feel like a horrible person if I said no, because he's never been to a dance before but... Yeah. Also, I've become a *Little* obsessed with Avatar the Last Airbender. :3 Omg I just... I can't even express my love for that series. (The movie sucks though.) Anyway, yeah! Please please R&R, and let me know if I could do anything better, or even if you just want to talk or something! :) Love you all! **


	4. Chapter 3- Interrogation

**Hey guys! I am really sorry I took so long uploading… Again. :p I went out of town for a while, then my laptop decided to die on my, so I had to get all of my stuff back, which took **_**hours**_**. Anyway, other than that, I had a really good time. I went to California with my Chamber Orchestra, and competed down in Anaheim, then went to Disneyland for the award ceremony. We won! I still can't get over my excitement. (Btw, I did bring my laptop, but I wasn't on that much.) Anyway, how've you all been? (assuming that you have lives other than obsessing over my awesome 3 chapter story… ;) )**

* * *

Tessa's P.O.V.

_It just doesn't make any sense. Why would someone do this? What does it even mean? _Tessa paces the length of the library for perhaps the hundredth time, clasping her hands nervously behind her back. She walks over to Will, who is sitting in the same armchair as the night before, and plucks the stone from his hand. Just smaller than Tessa's fist, she closes her hand around it, feeling its smooth, cool surface pressed against her skin. She turns it over in her hand, trying to make sense of it. Someone had thrown it through the library window about an hour ago, smashing the beautiful stained-glass, (Which Tessa is heartbroken about), but no one can understand why. The only clue is that there is an M and an H carved into the stone in small lettering.

"Tess, sit down. Aren't you getting tired? You must've been at that pacing for at least forty minutes." Will gazes at her, his piercing blue eyes meeting hers. He gestures to the seat across from him, and she obliges, plopping herself onto the soft cushion of the velvet green chair very un-gracefully while his eyes follow her.

"So… you have been silent for quite a long time… Did you figure anything out during your intense thinking session?" He inquires, leaning forward to take her hand, making little circles with his thumb.

"NO, I didn't!" She snaps in frustration, her voice coming out harsher than she meant it to. Will looks at her with a slightly startled expression, and Tessa groans quietly, rubbing her face with her free hand.

"I'm sorry, Will. It's just… It makes no sense." She mutters, "I don't understand who would do this other than Mortmain… But what does it mean?" Will shakes his head and his black hair falls partly over his eyes. He brushes it back impatiently.

"I just don't know. HH? What on earth could that stand for? I don't know anyone whose initials are M.H… The name of a company, perhaps?"

"Possibly… Do you think that it's connected with the symbol?"

"I don't know. It's likely I suppose, but until we have more evidence…" He doesn't need to finish the sentence for Tessa to understand. They don't have enough information to launch a proper investigation, and unless they get more, no one can do anything. She nods her head slowly, and stares at the floor worriedly.

"Will… I know that you meant what you said earlier, about you all protecting me, but… Well What if something does happen?" Will leaves his chair and kneels on the floor in front of her, clasping her hand tightly. He gazes up into her face and strokes her cheek reassuringly, making her heart flutter.

"Tessa… I can't promise that nothing will happen, but if it does, just know that we will fight as long and hard as we can." He smiles a little, and Tessa realizes how lucky she is to have him: to be able to see this side of him that no one else, except for perhaps Jem, has ever seen.

She pulls herself onto the floor next to Will, and rests her back against the plush armchair, heaving a great sigh.

"All of this is so frustrating… I just wish that… That this whole mess hadn't happened. It's not fair…" She pauses as Will ducks his head slightly.

"I'm sorry… I realize that sounds whiny and childish, and I know that complaining never fixes things, but-" Will breaks her off, holding up his hand.

"Tess, it's alright. We all wish that things were different. If I could change things I would. But if none of this had happened, I might not have met you."

He pulls her into a tight embrace, and she nuzzles her face into his shoulder.

"Will… Who am I?_" _She murmurs softly, "_What_ am I?" She feels Will exhale and they sit in silence for a few moments before he replies.

"You are my Tessa. You are the brave, fierce, passionate, vase-throwing lover of books with whom I fell deeply in love with." Tessa laughs and kisses him lightly on the cheek, making him smile.

A harsh creak fills the room and they spring apart just as Jem walks in. He studies them with a confused expression for a moment, seeing them sprawled on the floor, and Tessa jumps up and brushes off her dress.

"Um… Need I ask?" Jem asks with a smirk, raising his eyebrows. She shakes her head vigorously.

"No, I just tripped and Will attempted to catch me. I wasn't paying attention to where I was pacing." She crosses her arms and glances at Will out of the corner of her eyes. He pulls himself up and walks over to Jem.

"Yes. It didn't end well. She really gets into her thinking…" He gestures at the floor as Tessa blushes lightly. Jem just laughs.

"Yes, well Charlotte is _summoning _you two to lunch; there is a man there who is asking to see Tessa. So you'd better come. Right now it looks as if she might murder someone… I really wouldn't push it." Will gasps in exaggerated surprise and clutches his hand to his chest over-dramatically.

"Charlotte? murder someone? That's atrocious; I think I may faint!" Jem chuckles and shakes his head, backing out of the room. They follow him into the corridor, and make their way to the dining hall, and Tessa's thoughts are buzzing. _Who on earth would want to see me? I can't think of anyone…_

* * *

Two minutes later, they finally come to the heavy oak doors. They can hear an argument going on inside, and they pause for a moment before they enter, Will raising his eyebrows, listening. Charlotte's voice wafts through the heavy oak doors, impatient and stern.

"That would be correct, Consul. But I assure you, she is completely safe. She would _never_ harm anyone! There is no need to interrogate her."

"Mrs. Branwell, as much as I would like to believe you, I must do this for the safety of the institute." Replied a rough, grim voice. "If she is what I suspect her to be, then we need to send her away as quickly as possible. We will do it by force if necessary if she is found to be guilty."

"But Consul-"

"Charlotte, I know you have become fond of Miss. Gray, and that this will be hard for you. However, she could shift at any moment. She could easily be disguising herself, pretending to be friendly. But as soon as you show _any_ weakness at all, she might strike. We have had too many incidents with this, and we must take extra precautions for the safety of everyone." At this, Tessa begins to become angry, balling her fists. _This is absurd! Why would I want to hurt the people who have only helped me? _

Tessa looks at Will, and he brushes his hand against hers lightly, their eyes meeting. She is alarmed to see a fierce anger raging in his eyes, and she shakes her head at him, warning him against doing anything foolish. Instead, she pushes the doors open and walks in, to reveal Charlotte glaring at a tall, thin, well-aged man in a black suit. There is a fine patch of grey stubble where a beard might have been, and he has piercing grey eyes. _This must be the Consul. _

Charlotte turns and tries for a smile, completely oblivious that Tessa had just overheard part of the conversation.

"Ah, here you are!" She chides, as Will and Jem stand behind Tessa protectively. Charlotte hurries over and takes her arm lightly, guiding her across the room.

"Tessa, this is Consul Wayland," Tessa curtsies, but is returned with a cold stare, "He would like to ask you some questions in private for a few minutes. Is that alright?" She nods, but Will quickly steps forward.

"Charlotte, I would like to sit in on this… Questioning…" The Consul glares at him.

"Absolutely not, Mr. Herondale! This is to be a private conversation." The Consul's voice is annoyed and gruff, but Tessa cuts in.

"Consul, I am sure that nothing we discuss will be so private that Mr. Herondale cannot hear it. I would feel more comfortable if he came in with us-"

"No, my word is final. If everyone would be so kind as to leave us alone, I would be very grateful." He and Will have a glaring battle for a few seconds, and Will finally gives in, stalking out of the room after throwing her an apologetic look. The Consul ambles over to the table and pulls a chair, offering it to Tessa. _Well, even if he is a horrible old man, at least he has some manners._ She thinks, haughtily. She walks over and takes a seat, following the consul with her eyes as he takes his own seat across from her.

"Now then, Miss. Gray. As Charlotte informed you, I do have just a few questions to ask you. I need you to answer each one honestly and willingly. Shall we begin?" Tessa nods her head slightly.

"Yes."

"Alright. First off, I have heard rumors that you can… Shape-shift. Is this true?"

"Yes, although I prefer the term "Change" over "Shape –shift.""

"Interesting… would you mind giving me a brief demonstration of this unique talent?" Tessa obliges, and the familiar tingly sensation ripples through her body; blonde locks tumble down her shoulders and her face becomes rounder as she transforms into Jessamine. When her vision adjusts, she sees the consul looking shocked, his mouth hanging open slightly. As if he could read her mind, he snapped it shut and his face returned to its usual cold self. Tessa quickly changes back into herself, and stares at the white lace tablecloth.

"Well, Miss. Gray. I must say that was quite impressive. How long have you had this ability, would you say?" Tessa shakes her head.

"To be honest, I don't know. I only discovered it when the Black Sisters captured me and forced me to do it. It was just as much a shock to me as it was to them." The consul stroked his chin, leaning forward slightly.

"Hmm… I see. And may I ask, are your parents' downworlders, or have any type of downworlder blood in them?"

"Well, my parents died when I was a child, and I don't have hardly a memory of them, being raised by my aunt. But as far as I know, they do not."

"I see… Hmm… Have you ever, or are currently, having an affair with a downworlder, or demon, or any other thing but Nephilim?" Tessa gapes slightly. _Is he really asking me this? _

"Sir! That is of my own business. It is atrocious that you should ask a women such a private question!" He raises his eyebrows and sits up straighter.

"Miss. Gray, you said you would answer all questions honestly, or I will have to assume that your answer is yes." She glares at him for a few seconds.

"Very well, if you must know, I have never had any such affairs; nor any affairs at all. It is insulting that you would assume that I would sleep around like an animal. I am a lady, and do in fact have morals and standards that I go by." She tilts her head slightly sideways looking him directly in the eyes.

"Well, thank you for that answer, and I apologize. It's just that people of your general… Type… Don't have hardly any moral standards and tend to get around quite a lot." Tessa clenches her teeth, trying to stay calm.

"People of "My type"? So you assume that I am just like all of the others, without even knowing me at all. So what do you classify as "My type"?"

"I was referring to Warlocks and other things." He drawls, "Fairies, possibly." Tessa rolls her eyes in frustration.

"Next question: What crimes, assaults, or along the lines of it, have you ever been convicted of? And what about your parents or guardians? "

"None that I am aware of. I am not a criminal, nor a caveman; and neither is my family! I daresay, Consul that it is very impertinent of you to automatically assume that I would ever behave in that manner without knowing me nearly at all!"

"I am sorry Miss. Gray, but I- and many of the other high ranking members of the clave- have come to the conclusion that you are a possible threat; a danger to the nephilim who might have participated in the murder last night. We must confirm this to be true before we can take any further actions; it is our duty to oversee the safety of our kind." Tessa's eyes widen and she stands up, letting out a cry of remorse.

"I see. You have already classified me as low-class scum, and are planning on getting rid of me as soon as possible. However, you can't do it without evidence. This interview is unfair and unjust, and I refuse to participate willingly from now on!" She turns and makes to leave as a knot begins to form in her throat, but the Consul is quicker and dives around the table grabbing her arm.

"Miss. Gray, I am afraid this… interview… is not yet over." He roughly guides, her, protesting, back to the chair and faces her, not bothering to sit.

"Have you any marks on your body that are unusual, or non- human in any way?" Tessa glowers at him, refusing to speak for a few moments.

"…Once more, that this private information."

"Well then I shall have you put through a full body examination in a few days."

"Excuse me? You cannot do that! It would be intruding on all of my personal rights! Tessa glares up at him, disbelief raging in her eyes. _This man is horrid! So much for the nice manners I thought he had._

"Ah, but I can, Miss Gray. It is necessary. You see, you have been deemed a suspect of last night's murder." A tight knot has started to form in her throat, and she shakes her head in disbelief.

"But… But that's impossible! I was here the whole time. I haven't left the institute in a week. And besides, I would never murder anyone. Why would I? This notion is ridiculous."

"Yes, but you might have participated in the scheme. Your case is very unique already, so I don't think it would come as a surprise to anyone if you had taken part in this." The lumps in her throat is growing tighter as she takes in his words.

Tessa covers her mouth with her hand as she blinks back tears; all the events of the day overwhelming her. _No, I cannot cry in front of the Consul; the last thing I need is to show signs of weakness. _ Instead she springs up and bids good day to the consul, before storming out of the room, barely able to contain herself.

* * *

Tessa dashes down the hall clutching her skirts in her hand, now letting the tears flow freely down her face. She barely notices as she passes Will and Charlotte in her attempt to get as far away from the horrid man as possible. She ignores their calls; the Consuls words echoing in her mind. _You are a threat, a danger to the Nephilim. _This is not true, cannot be. And yet…

She doesn't know where she is going, and she just walks around blindly, turning corner after corner, until she finally decides to enter a small room to her left. It happens to have a book shelf, and she grabs Jane Eyre before slumping to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest. She opens the book to a random page and starts reading, not taking in any of the words; just hoping that someone will find her.

**Yeah, I know, this was**_** kind of **_**a boring chapter… Sorry… I hope that you enjoyed it though! I promise, I **_**am**_** going somewhere with it. Really! Anyway, please R&R, and let me know if I could do anything better, (I have tried to improve my writing skills, a little.), if you have any suggestions for the plot, or anything like that. Even if you just want to talk! :) **


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